Why I Hate “Dear Future Husband” — And Why You Should, Too

Brooke Schwartz
4 min readJan 22, 2018

The song “Dear Future Husband” is full of double standards, sexism, and blame-shifting.

For example, here’s the second verse:

Take me on a date
I deserve a break

Who said you deserve a break? What did you do to deserve a break? And, when your husband deserves a break, do you take him on a date? She never says she’ll reciprocate; those are simply the beginning of her demands in this relationship.

And don’t forget the flowers every anniversary

God forbid her husband forgets the date of their anniversary! She expects him to remember it without any prompting (and, as a woman, I’ll probably forget my future anniversary, too), and she never says anything about giving him something.

’Cause if you’ll treat me right

As in, by abiding to her former ultimatums, which are unreasonable to begin with…

I’ll be the perfect wife

No one is perfect, and saying you’ll be the “perfect wife” sets your partner up for disappointment.

Buying groceries
Buy-buying what you need

Who said the wife should always buy groceries? By all means, if you need something, get off your ass and go buy it yourself.


Let’s move on to the fourth verse.

You gotta know how to treat me like a lady



Brooke Schwartz

Professional writer, editor, and tutor; social justice advocate; Orthodox Jew; dedicated Grammar Auror